Author Archives: leaklep

Ignoring this one thing will cut off any chance for a life you desire

The happiest times in life you had were probably on vacations, when you got that promotion, got married, a child was born, when you’ve checked off that goal …

But you feel a little less good – or even happy – on that very ordinary Wednesday or Thursday … Right?


You feel like that’s normal, ordinary.


I’ve always wanted to escape the ordinary.

And I did.


But not in the way you might think.


A few years ago, I’ve packed my life in a suitcase and moved across the world, from Slovenia to Australia.


Expecting my life would magically change for the better.


Because you think life gets instantly better, when you’re surrounded by sandy beaches and 365 days of sunshine.


Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.


If you’re stuck in an office, rushing life through monday to friday, you may beg to differ.


Okay, okay … It MIGHT get better for a month, but then your old life habits start to creep in.


Your old mindset.

Your consistent way of being, and seeing the world.

Your bad habits.


Moving countries, stunning views, material wealth, don’t mean shit for Wellbeing.

What truly does, doesn’t involve any of that.


Because most of your life aren’t highlights you see on social media.


Most of your life consists of that average Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays …

The mundane tasks of washing the dishes, doing the workouts, doing your job.


I’ve realized that if I wanted to live in Wellbeing most of my days, most of my life – without waiting on a special ocassion – I would have to start in the midst of the ordinary.


Even though my life is currently far from the ordinary, I learned how to be happy, content and how to thrive in wellbeing BEFORE my life turned into this epic Europe adventure you can see on my Instagram these days.


I didn’t want to rely on anything expensive and I wanted to be achieved instantly.


My current wellbeing doesn’t depend on the excitement travelling the world.


Travelling the world just compliments it. That’s it.


I am always, ALWAYS, relying on that fundamental 10 ways that bring me peace and Wellbeing.


And I’ve shared them with you in the Free checklist.


Today, let’s talk about #3:

Questioning your belief systems


What does that have to do with wellbeing, you say?

Well, let’s say what if:


– you believe you CAN’T get healthy and fit, because there’s no (right) time to start

– you believe you ARE NOT smart enought or RESOURCEFUL enough to make that career change

– you believe you CAN’T make an X amount of money

– you believe IT IS NOT possible to travel the world fulltime without having to be rich


Every possibility of building a better life for yourself is gone to begin with.

Ignoring challenging your current beliefs will cut off any chance for a life you desire.


It all starts with a core belief.

If you believe something is or isn’t possible for you, then you have already cut yourself off from the possibility of it (without even trying).


The anatomy of a belief system


“Beliefs are developed as stimuli received as trusted information and stored in the memory. These perceptions are generalized and established into belief.” (Source)


Explained simply, all beliefs stem from: 


– your lived experience (because you usually trust most what you see and feel with your own eyes)

- lived experience of people close to you (because you have to be emotionally invested in someone to believe him.


There are 4 types of beliefs:

1. Meta: beliefs about beliefs. (“Do I even believe I CAN change a belief?”)

2. Perceptions: beliefs about how the world seems to be, based on the evidence I have. (“I lived through this and my loved ones lived through this, so anything outside of this must not be true, or possible”)

3. Opinions: beliefs about how I should interpret reality. What I should value and how I should act in response to what exists. 

(“Every one does this, so then it must mean I have to do it aswell, to fit into what is expected, and to stay safe”)

4. Predictions: Beliefs about how I think things will end up in the future based on what I know now. (“I failed at every attempt to workout consistently in the past, so I will do so in the future”)


How to challenge a belief?


Anthony Robbins in his book, Awaken the Giant Within, uses the metaphor of a belief being like a table top with legs.


The table top is the belief, and the legs are the facts used to support the belief.


But the legs are often not facts. 


It just happens that you have been given those sets of legs by your parents, past experience, or past (false) beliefs that are not serving you anymore.


And now you are using them to form more opinions which further strenghten the legs and support the table.


But opinions aren’t facts.

Beliefs aren’t facts.


When we begin to question these facts, the legs get cut out from underneath the table top, and the limiting belief begins to fall apart.


Case study of changing beliefs: 



How did I go from being a couch potato and compulsive over-eater to a having a healthy relationship with food and working out 3+ times per week over 6 years?


1. The original belief was:

– I am a couch potato and I love food too much

- Working out is a chore

- I’m not motivated enough to stick with it


2. I’ve put a seed of doubt in those beliefs, by asking those questions:

- Who would I be, if I wasn’t a couch potato?

- How could food be viewed differently, if not for enjoyment only?

- How could I find enjoyment in movement? What would I enjoy, if it was needed to be done consistently?

And finally: 

What could I lose in the future if i keep living the way I am living?


3. I’ve created new beliefs as an answer to those questions. 

- I would be a healthy person, who knows how to rest, but who values health above all else

- Food could nourish my body, so I would first have to give my body what it needs, only after that I would enjoy foods that are low in nutrition (Still love my chocolate)

- I am a person who values time. I get the most “bang for the buck” from resistance training. I could find enjoyment in it with music, gym buddies, workout clothes, seeking a coach …


4. I’ve practiced puting those new beliefs in action by acting on them accordingly. The more I acted on them, the more real they became. 

Of course there were times when I slipped back into old beliefs. (more than I can count). But I kept reminding mysef of what I would lose if didn’t act accordingly.

(Fear of losing something is a far more powerful motivator in the early stages of changing a belief.)


PS. Summary: 4 step system on how to change a belief


1. Define your table: Get specific on the original belief you have and want to challenge (if you don’t believe you CAN change the belief – repeat this process for that belief)


2. Put a seed of doubt in the legs of the table: what are some other beliefs that support the original belief I want to change? Are those “legs” really true or I don’t have the big picture? Start with imagining: “How could I, if I wanted … Who would I have to be, if this were true … What could I lose if I don’t change?


3. Create new beliefs as answers to your questions in #2.


4. Put new beliefs to the test in real world. (Disclaimer: this will be uncomfortable, but it’s completely normal. Keep going!)


I’m so happy you’ve made it this far.


Hit reply to info@leaklep.com  and let me know – what belief are you challenging?


I hope this has been insightful, happy to answer any questions you might have.


With Love,


Lea

If you hate doing the dishes, do this instead

What is the mess that you’re avoiding, but you know it would bring you more wellbeing if you’d just get INTO the midst of the imperfect mess, and practice it more often?

I’ve avoided the messiness time and time again.

Earlier today, I’ve observed my irritation of the dirty dishes in the sink, because they were already “soaking” from yesterday.

I felt myself getting pissed.

At first at my boyfriend, because he just doesn’t get bothered. Why should I?

But I do.

However, I’ve simply observed the feeling of anger, and let it go by.

And man, was it hard.

(Living in a campervan with 2square meters of space, it can get really DIRTY, real FAST).

I could avoid the messy feelings of annoyance, irritation and discomfort by washing the dishes before I got to other priorities (like training in the sunset or walking my dog).

But I’ve rather observed the feelings – and let them go.

So I could go training in peace and not miss the sunset.

By letting go of the uncomfortable itch of wanting to get rid of the mess, I’ve simply made the mental space for something else.

It’s always so liberating.

And after other priorities, I’ve got to the dishes too.

We are all running from some type of discomfort – all the time.

Sometimes, it’s by doing something

(I could do the dishes, to avoid discomfort of the nasty sink –

but then, I would feel tired and iritated, because I’d miss the part of the day I love most – the sunset.)

And other times, it’s by NOT doing something.

Avoiding a workout.

Avoiding time alone, because you can’t handle the thoughts.

Avoiding quitting smoking, because you can’t stand the urge.

Avoiding healthy eating because junk food tastes better in the moment.

The secret to true wellbeing is not avoidance –

it’s observing the whole spectrum of feelings and not getting caught up in them.

It’s easy to get pulled in.

Instead of observing the irritation, the anger, the sadness, we say –

I AM irritated, I AM angry, I AM sad.

But you’re not, actually.

You’re more than that.

You can be the observer.

And when you observe, you don’t get pulled in, but you can let go (if you choose to)

That way, life becomes calm. Easy. Peaceful.

You can finally do, what you’ve set out to do:

Workout. Eat healthy. Start your business. Finish the book.

Because when it gets hard, and when feelings of resistance arise, you can observe them –

and let them go.

Then proceed with what you know you need to be doing for your own wellbeing.

Even when it’s hard.

How do you become the observer?

By practicing mindfulness.

Being mindful is the second of the 10 ways to achieve wellbeing.

Practice being mindful for the next few days with the 5 minute action on page 5 in the Guide on 10 ways to wellbeing. 

You’ve got this.

PS. I would love to hear how it went – hit a reply to info@leaklep.com  and let me know how did it felt and what you’ve noticed – if anything?

With Love,

Lea

Apply this weird perspective shift to avoid procrastination

I’m sorry for all the times I said I will do it later.

I would spend time building up the “perfect” scene, but not actually wanting to play in it – I said I will do it after I finish the building part.
Being 6 or 7 years old, I’d spend 2-3 hours to set up the perfect Barbie house life.

From where the cake stickers in the kitchen would go, to how the Barbies were dressed and how their shoes are aligned next to the closet.

But actually playing life with dolls would make everything messy and I didn’t like the mess.

I didn’t like how their hair would get tangled and I didn’t like how boring their life soon got. Or rather, how unimaginitive I was.

I prefered building and imagining the Barbie, Ken and horses’ life and then move on to the next playing field.

I would sharpen the pencils, arrange all the watercolors and then I was scared to draw what I really felt.

Because I was scared for it to get messy and scared to not be understood.

So I coloured behind the lines, never around them.

The pictures I drew were the ones I knew I would get the most praise.

Even as a kid, I played it safe.

I’ve built walls and constraints around my life so I wouldn’t get hurt.

We all do.

We build mental models of reality and feel threatened when something from the outside happens that could potentially change how we feel on the inside.

But with restraints that feed our egos, we also might close ourselves off to beautiful things … To life.

The life, that feels and is messy at times.

The leftover coffee grounds in the sink.

The muddy paws of our furry friends, that stain floors.

The rotten onion that got bad because we forgot to throw it away.

And the bloody fears that keep us in the safety of what we value, but might rob us from experiencing the whole spectrum of what life has to offer.

You know how the saying goes – what you value, you probably value too much …

I still am bothered by the mess. It disrupts my inner feeling of peace and it shows up as another to-do on my list.

And I say I will do it later, avoiding the messy-ness.

But by avoiding, it only get’s messier.

Then I’m wishing the to-do list wasn’t there.

But you know when the to-do list is finally over?

When the warm ground covers your skeleton or the wind blows your ashes under the stars from which you are made of.

Instead of wishing away the mess, I began to practice the more important thing than the task itself:

intention.

If you read the Guide on 10 ways to wellbeing, that is the very first on the checklist.

I am slowly accepting the mess and the feelings of discomfort that arise.

I am aware that everytime I get rid of the mess, it will come back.

Isn’t life just handling one mess after another, with some glimpses of peace sprinkled between?

So instead of avoiding the dreaded messes and to-do lists that never get done because that later never comes,

here are some questions I ask myself, to change my intention going about the daily have-to-do’s:

How can I accept the ebbs and flows of daily life and not be overly excited when everything is clean, tidy and perfect?

Is staying safe and avoiding mess of playing, coloring and simply living – making me happier and more free –

or is it restraining me from experiencing even more joy in life?

Am I feeling expansive when I think about colouring outside the lines or am I feeling repulsion?

Exploring the feeling of repulsion and fear will reveal clues about walls you’ve built around you.

From there, it’s your choice:

will you keep exploring or will you stay within borders?

Where are you avoiding the mess and thus, avoiding what life has to offer?

With Love,

Lea