What is the mess that you’re avoiding, but you know it would bring you more wellbeing if you’d just get INTO the midst of the imperfect mess, and practice it more often?
I’ve avoided the messiness time and time again.
Earlier today, I’ve observed my irritation of the dirty dishes in the sink, because they were already “soaking” from yesterday.
I felt myself getting pissed.
At first at my boyfriend, because he just doesn’t get bothered. Why should I?
But I do.
However, I’ve simply observed the feeling of anger, and let it go by.
And man, was it hard.
(Living in a campervan with 2square meters of space, it can get really DIRTY, real FAST).
I could avoid the messy feelings of annoyance, irritation and discomfort by washing the dishes before I got to other priorities (like training in the sunset or walking my dog).
But I’ve rather observed the feelings – and let them go.
So I could go training in peace and not miss the sunset.
By letting go of the uncomfortable itch of wanting to get rid of the mess, I’ve simply made the mental space for something else.
It’s always so liberating.
And after other priorities, I’ve got to the dishes too.
We are all running from some type of discomfort – all the time.
Sometimes, it’s by doing something
(I could do the dishes, to avoid discomfort of the nasty sink –
but then, I would feel tired and iritated, because I’d miss the part of the day I love most – the sunset.)
And other times, it’s by NOT doing something.
Avoiding a workout.
Avoiding time alone, because you can’t handle the thoughts.
Avoiding quitting smoking, because you can’t stand the urge.
Avoiding healthy eating because junk food tastes better in the moment.
The secret to true wellbeing is not avoidance –
it’s observing the whole spectrum of feelings and not getting caught up in them.
It’s easy to get pulled in.
Instead of observing the irritation, the anger, the sadness, we say –
I AM irritated, I AM angry, I AM sad.
But you’re not, actually.
You’re more than that.
You can be the observer.
And when you observe, you don’t get pulled in, but you can let go (if you choose to)
That way, life becomes calm. Easy. Peaceful.
You can finally do, what you’ve set out to do:
Workout. Eat healthy. Start your business. Finish the book.
Because when it gets hard, and when feelings of resistance arise, you can observe them –
and let them go.
Then proceed with what you know you need to be doing for your own wellbeing.
Even when it’s hard.
How do you become the observer?
By practicing mindfulness.
Being mindful is the second of the 10 ways to achieve wellbeing.
Practice being mindful for the next few days with the 5 minute action on page 5 in the Guide on 10 ways to wellbeing.
You’ve got this.
PS. I would love to hear how it went – hit a reply to firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know how did it felt and what you’ve noticed – if anything?