The happiest times in life you had were probably on vacations, when you got that promotion, got married, a child was born, when you’ve checked off that goal …
But you feel a little less good – or even happy – on that very ordinary Wednesday or Thursday … Right?
You feel like that’s normal, ordinary.
I’ve always wanted to escape the ordinary.
And I did.
But not in the way you might think.
A few years ago, I’ve packed my life in a suitcase and moved across the world, from Slovenia to Australia.
Expecting my life would magically change for the better.
Because you think life gets instantly better, when you’re surrounded by sandy beaches and 365 days of sunshine.
Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
If you’re stuck in an office, rushing life through monday to friday, you may beg to differ.
Okay, okay … It MIGHT get better for a month, but then your old life habits start to creep in.
Your old mindset.
Your consistent way of being, and seeing the world.
Your bad habits.
Moving countries, stunning views, material wealth, don’t mean shit for Wellbeing.
What truly does, doesn’t involve any of that.
Because most of your life aren’t highlights you see on social media.
Most of your life consists of that average Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays …
The mundane tasks of washing the dishes, doing the workouts, doing your job.
I’ve realized that if I wanted to live in Wellbeing most of my days, most of my life – without waiting on a special ocassion – I would have to start in the midst of the ordinary.
Even though my life is currently far from the ordinary, I learned how to be happy, content and how to thrive in wellbeing BEFORE my life turned into this epic Europe adventure you can see on my Instagram these days.
I didn’t want to rely on anything expensive and I wanted to be achieved instantly.
My current wellbeing doesn’t depend on the excitement travelling the world.
Travelling the world just compliments it. That’s it.
I am always, ALWAYS, relying on that fundamental 10 ways that bring me peace and Wellbeing.
And I’ve shared them with you in the Free checklist.
Today, let’s talk about #3:
Questioning your belief systems
What does that have to do with wellbeing, you say?
Well, let’s say what if:
– you believe you CAN’T get healthy and fit, because there’s no (right) time to start
– you believe you ARE NOT smart enought or RESOURCEFUL enough to make that career change
– you believe you CAN’T make an X amount of money
– you believe IT IS NOT possible to travel the world fulltime without having to be rich
Every possibility of building a better life for yourself is gone to begin with.
Ignoring challenging your current beliefs will cut off any chance for a life you desire.
It all starts with a core belief.
If you believe something is or isn’t possible for you, then you have already cut yourself off from the possibility of it (without even trying).
The anatomy of a belief system
“Beliefs are developed as stimuli received as trusted information and stored in the memory. These perceptions are generalized and established into belief.” (Source)
Explained simply, all beliefs stem from:
– your lived experience (because you usually trust most what you see and feel with your own eyes)
- lived experience of people close to you (because you have to be emotionally invested in someone to believe him.
There are 4 types of beliefs:
1. Meta: beliefs about beliefs. (“Do I even believe I CAN change a belief?”)
2. Perceptions: beliefs about how the world seems to be, based on the evidence I have. (“I lived through this and my loved ones lived through this, so anything outside of this must not be true, or possible”)
3. Opinions: beliefs about how I should interpret reality. What I should value and how I should act in response to what exists.
(“Every one does this, so then it must mean I have to do it aswell, to fit into what is expected, and to stay safe”)
4. Predictions: Beliefs about how I think things will end up in the future based on what I know now. (“I failed at every attempt to workout consistently in the past, so I will do so in the future”)
How to challenge a belief?
Anthony Robbins in his book, Awaken the Giant Within, uses the metaphor of a belief being like a table top with legs.
The table top is the belief, and the legs are the facts used to support the belief.
But the legs are often not facts.
It just happens that you have been given those sets of legs by your parents, past experience, or past (false) beliefs that are not serving you anymore.
And now you are using them to form more opinions which further strenghten the legs and support the table.
But opinions aren’t facts.
Beliefs aren’t facts.
When we begin to question these facts, the legs get cut out from underneath the table top, and the limiting belief begins to fall apart.
Case study of changing beliefs:
How did I go from being a couch potato and compulsive over-eater to a having a healthy relationship with food and working out 3+ times per week over 6 years?
1. The original belief was:
– I am a couch potato and I love food too much
- Working out is a chore
- I’m not motivated enough to stick with it
2. I’ve put a seed of doubt in those beliefs, by asking those questions:
- Who would I be, if I wasn’t a couch potato?
- How could food be viewed differently, if not for enjoyment only?
- How could I find enjoyment in movement? What would I enjoy, if it was needed to be done consistently?
And finally:
What could I lose in the future if i keep living the way I am living?
3. I’ve created new beliefs as an answer to those questions.
- I would be a healthy person, who knows how to rest, but who values health above all else
- Food could nourish my body, so I would first have to give my body what it needs, only after that I would enjoy foods that are low in nutrition (Still love my chocolate)
- I am a person who values time. I get the most “bang for the buck” from resistance training. I could find enjoyment in it with music, gym buddies, workout clothes, seeking a coach …
4. I’ve practiced puting those new beliefs in action by acting on them accordingly. The more I acted on them, the more real they became.
Of course there were times when I slipped back into old beliefs. (more than I can count). But I kept reminding mysef of what I would lose if didn’t act accordingly.
(Fear of losing something is a far more powerful motivator in the early stages of changing a belief.)
PS. Summary: 4 step system on how to change a belief
1. Define your table: Get specific on the original belief you have and want to challenge (if you don’t believe you CAN change the belief – repeat this process for that belief)
2. Put a seed of doubt in the legs of the table: what are some other beliefs that support the original belief I want to change? Are those “legs” really true or I don’t have the big picture? Start with imagining: “How could I, if I wanted … Who would I have to be, if this were true … What could I lose if I don’t change?
3. Create new beliefs as answers to your questions in #2.
4. Put new beliefs to the test in real world. (Disclaimer: this will be uncomfortable, but it’s completely normal. Keep going!)
I’m so happy you’ve made it this far.
Hit reply to info@leaklep.com and let me know – what belief are you challenging?
I hope this has been insightful, happy to answer any questions you might have.
With Love,
Lea